Microsoft -

Microsoft Acquires Linux, Converts It to Closed-Source Subscription Platform

Posted on July 11, 2026 | Dylan Carver

Microsoft announces it has acquired Linux in its entirety, closing the source code and launching Microsoft Linux 365 Copilot Enterprise, a subscription platform with Copilot integrated directly into the kernel. [Read More]

Microsoft Linux AI Satire

Microsoft Unveils Non-Deterministic Visual Studio to Better Support AI-Era Development

Posted on July 6, 2026 | Dylan Carver

Microsoft’s new Visual Studio Nondeterministic Edition embraces randomness as a feature, introducing Schrödinger’s Compiler, Selectable Hallucination Level™, and a build system that changes based on ‘overall project vibes.’ [Read More]

AI software development Microsoft

Microsoft Reopens Three Mile Island to Power AI Data Centers, Sets Sights on Fukushima and Chernobyl for Future Expansion

Posted on June 8, 2026 |

Microsoft unveils a long-term AI energy strategy that identifies Fukushima and Chernobyl as promising infrastructure opportunities. [Read More]

AI Microsoft Nuclear Power Technology Data Centers Satire