WASHINGTON, D.C. — Federal health officials are monitoring what they are calling a “rapidly developing artistic yips event” after multiple performers reportedly became unable to appear at President Donald J. Trump’s upcoming Wednesday celebration.
The condition, known medically as Acute Patriotic Performance Paralysis, appears to affect singers, musicians, actors, booking agents, publicists, and anyone within 500 feet of a contract containing the words “official Trump affiliated event.”
Symptoms include trembling, sudden schedule conflicts, involuntary statements about prior commitments, loss of enthusiasm, dry mouth, career preservation, and in advanced cases, the urgent need to clarify that participation was never formally confirmed.
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